Menu of Polyamory Information, Relationship Skills, and Advocacy Workshops
Poly What????
The question "Poly what????" is often the initial reaction by people who have never heard the word polyamory before, much less discovered its meaning. Yet polyamory seems like THE next big thing these days. Find out what all the fuss is about - what polyamory is, how it works, and why anyone would want to do it. After a brief and basic polyamory 101 presentation, a facilitated group discussion will follow. Ask any question you like and satisfy your curiousity about this 21st century phenominon.
The Fine Art of Compersion
Compersion? What's that you ask? Compersion is a term used to describe the positive emotional state of feeling happy for the happiness your partner feels by being in relationship with someone in addition to you. Some people are skeptical about whether such a state of mind is even possible, but it is indeed achievable and a source of joy for all concerned when you learn to overcome more negative emotions and find security in your relationships no matter who else your partner may be seeing. Come share your story and hear the stories of others as you learn more about this aspect of polyamorous relating and how you and your partner(s) can incorporate compersion into your relationships and lives.
Making Peace with Jealousy in Polyamorous Relationships
Sound familiar? Just when we think we've got our act together, our relationships are going well and we're maybe even feeling confident, someone we love is attracted to someone new, and all of a sudden the bottom falls out. Or we meet someone new and want to explore our attraction to them, and contrary to what we anticipate, a poly partner starts freaking out. Why is this happening? Why do our emotions sometimes run so contrary to our will? What's a fair and reasonable poly person to do?
We need not be jealousy's victims! Come learn to accurately analyze and identify jealousy's complex underlying emotions. Devise an effective plan that works for you that will take away their seemingly overwhelming emotional power. With a bit of patience, some love and support, and the right poly relationship skills, we all have the power to make peace with jealousy.
Polyamory First Aid Clinic
Do you wish your polyamorous relationships were healthier? Not sure what the right medicine is to cure all that high drama? This workshop may be just what the doctor ordered! Learn how to finally end the misery and find the abundance of love and sex and companionship you envisioned when you started down the poly road.
Whatever your challenge, this facilitated discussion offers you the chance to talk about it in a safe space, get feedback from others who have been down that road and found workable solutions, and offer your own insights to others who can benefit from your experiences.
Lemons and Lemonade: The Pain and Pleasure of Poly/Mono Relationships
Probably the greatest challenge in finding what works to resolve conflict in polyamorous relationships is working out the challenge that arises when one partner is polyamorous and the other is monogamous.How do people manage?Is it even possible to find mutual happiness under such circumstances? This workshop will explore the ways in which poly/mono relationships wither for some and thrive for others.Every effort will be made to present this workshop and conduct discussion sensitively to the experiences of the monogamous partners as well as the polyamorous partners.Poly/mono couples and groups who have a story to tell are especially welcome.A useful handout and ample time for discussion will be included.
Emotional Edge Play - Polyamory for BDSM/Leather/Fetish Folk
Polyamory has become enormously popular amongst denizens of the BDSM/Leather/Fetish communities. How does its practice differ from vanilla polyamory? What are polyamory's universal truths, and how are they applied? Most importantly, what does it take to establish and maintain happy and healthy kinky polyamorous families and networks?
Come join this facilitated discussion and learn more about how to make polyamory work in a kinky context. Every effort will be made to establish honor-based confidentiality so participants are free to tell their story in safe space.
Avoid the Pitfalls and Reap the Rewards of Polyamorous Relationships
Most people raised in Western culture under lifelong exposure to monogamous societal norms come to understand with little effort what emotions and reactions are commonly considered reasonable and likely to arise when the subject is relationship exclusivity. Those seeking to establish and maintain healthy, happy polyamorous relationships without the benefit of similar conditioning sometimes fail to recognize how ill prepared they are to achieve their goal, sometimes sending themselves on an emotional rollercoaster of drama, pain and confusion as a result.
This fast-paced workshop teaches ways to avoid the common pitfalls that attempting to create successful polyamorous relationships 'on the fly' can present. Common issues to be considered include The Kid In The Candy Store Syndrome; Jumping The Gun; Dealing Successfully With Fear, Guilt, And Jealousy; and Hunting Ducks Where The Ducks Are—and Where They Aren't.
The Ethics of Polyamory
Polyamory can be confusing, especially for newcomers. We've all been culturally influenced to believe that while in a committed relationship any kind of non-monogamous behaviors are de facto unethical. Yet more and more people are questioning monogamy and considering polyamory. How is a person of good ethics to reconcile this conundrum?
Then there are the behaviors polyamorous people engage in that may or may not be ethical. In order to find happiness and peace in our poly relationships, it is clear that polyamory makes some pretty clear demands on us in terms of how we treat not only our poly partners, but their partners as well.
This is a workshop presentation on the kinds of ethical behaviors and attitudes necessary to be successful at sustaining polyamorous relationships, whether they are only meant to last a day, a month, a year or a lifetime. The larger societal implications of the ethics of polyamory as a general concept will also be examined. There will also be time for Q&A and comments from participants.
Polyamorous Relationships Facilitated Discussion
Many wish they could sit down, talk with and get feedback from others who also know what it's like to be in a polyamorous relationship. Here's their chance. This is an unstructured facilitated group discussion on the poly relationships topics of the group's choosing. Participation in the discussion is encouraged but not required, and participants are free to ask for support and advice, or just to listen to the thoughtful, articulate, wise words of others who have "been there done that". Participants will gain insight they can take home with them and apply to their own poly relationships so as to help them thrive.Connect with others who by their own experience understand the your relationship hopes, dreams and challenges.
Polyamory as a Spiritual Path
Many polyamorists are spiritual people. Just ask for a show of hands at any polyamory conference, and fully two thirds of the crowd will say they identify either as Unitarian Universalist and/or Pagan, with the rest coming anywhere from Judaism to Christianity to athiesm. How does the practice of polyamory manifest for you as a spiritual matter? What do you seek that relates to spirituality in a polyamorous partnership? How important is it to you? These are but a few of the questions we will explore in this facilitated group discussion.
Polyamory in Media’s Spotlight
(Based on Keynote Address, Florida Poly Retreat, March 2008)
Over the last two years much has happened on the public stage that has the power to affect poly lives in ways both good and bad. More than 140 media events that focus on polyamory or are polyamory-related have been documented. Their sources range from prime-time TV plot lines to articles in campus newspapers.
The good news:Polyamory is no longer socially obscure.
The bad news:Visibility attracts attention from people who actively oppose the way we live our lives.
Increasingly the media is the grass roots playing field that offers the most effective means of influencing public opinion – and hopefully public policy – in polyamory's favor. There is no doubt that media interest in polyamory is at an all time high with no real end in sight.Whereas for many years sightings of poly-specific media events were very few and far between and consisted mostly of hostile daytime talk show experiences, today local, regional and national broadcast, print, and internet-based media are driving a much more positive trend, with polyamorists and polyamory movement leaders often in media's spotlight. This tends to reflect well on the concept of polyamory, but troublesome media events still happen, events about which we must remain aware and address as is appropriate.
Come hear more and ask questions about this exciting and challenging trend.
The Polytics of Polyamory
(Based on Remarks at Poly Pride Celebration in New York City, October, 2007)
The image of polyamory today is being driven by the use of the media by both its advocates and its opponents.The popular media sees what is going on in the culture war and reports it.Polyamory’s opponents make alarmist, erroneous public statements in an attempt to gain support for their pro-traditional marriage agenda. All of this affects the lives of polyamorists.We see polyamory being treated respectfully in some instances, derisively in others, and as disingenuously irrelevant by some media savvy individuals for whom doing so suits an agenda.Some references are clearly exploitative, others fairly positive, while others are decidedly against polyamorists and polyamory as a social construct. In this program you’ll hear about the people who oppose polyamory, people like Stanley Kurtz of the Hoover Institute, Maggie Gallagher, president of the Institute for Marriage and Public Policy, Barbara Defoe Whitehead, co-director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, spokespeople for the Same-Sex Marriage Movement, and leaders of quasi-faith based non-profit pro-family groups. You’ll also hear about people and organizations who support polyamory, i.e. family law academics, the ACLU, libertarian leaders, polyamory community leaders and activists, and other public figures.You’ll learn about the role the courts and legislative bodies play.Lastly, I’ll talk about what all this means to the future of polyamory.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with obedience, jealousy nor fear. It is there most pure, perfect, and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve.